“Help, I Got Promoted, and Now I’m Panicking!” Navigating Self-Doubt
One of my friends, a self-identifying man, decided to apply for a job that required a Master’s degree. He said, "It’s a wild card, but let’s see if it sticks!" Excited and full of confidence, he ignored the fact that he didn’t meet the basic qualifications. He didn’t attend post-secondary education and wasn’t close to the requirements for the job. But still, he applied.
As a recruiter and HR professional for over two decades, I’ve seen time and time again how there’s often a different internal dialogue for women when it comes to applying for new roles or stepping into leadership positions. It’s a dance of knowing you’re capable but also feeling like you have to prove yourself more than others around you. It’s not just in our heads. It’s shaped by systems that, whether intentional or not, make women question our worthiness at every turn.
From Victory to “Wait, What Have I Done?”
You did it! You got the promotion! Time to celebrate, right? Except, now you’re clutching your coffee like it’s your lifeline, wondering who made this mistake. Enter the little voice inside your head whispering, “Am I really ready?” You might even feel that sinking feeling of panic: the fear that you’re about to be found out.
You thought you wanted the job, but now you’re mentally going through every reason you might not be qualified for it, whether it’s a lack of training or just feeling overwhelmed.
Here’s the thing: Everyone feels this way at some point.
Whether you’ve just been promoted or you’re working on your big goals for 2025, this post is for you.
So, What’s Really Going On?
Picture this: You’re a chef serving a Michelin-worthy dish, but all you can see is that one slightly burnt carrot.
It hits women, especially women with intersecting identities, harder: the missed opportunity, the one piece of feedback, that slight misstep. It can feel like the tiniest flaw will undo everything you’ve built, even though your accomplishments far outweigh them. Then there’s that one guy who still calls you “sweetheart” during meetings.
Your inner voice grows louder: “I don’t know enough.” (But the truth is, no one knows everything. We’re all figuring it out as we go.) “What if I fail?” (And guess what? You’re human. Everyone fails. It’s part of the process.)
Five Steps to Quieting Doubt
Remember Why You Got the Job. It wasn’t a fluke. Someone saw your potential and chose you for the role. So, start believing in yourself. You earned this position, and you’re exactly where you need to be.
Find Your Cheer Squad
Surround yourself with people who’ll remind you you’re amazing. It could be the work bestie who will tell you when you’ve got spinach in your teeth before a meeting and give you a pep talk, or a community or association, a club, or group of peers outside of your day-to-day role.
These people don’t have to be real. You can draw strength and inspiration from the women who came before you—whether they’re ancestors, mentors in your field, or women who have broken barriers throughout history. When these moments hit hard, I picture my team rolling their eyes at my self-doubt and saying, “Seriously? You think you’re not ready? Honey, we’ve done harder things than this. You’ll be fine and you’ve got this.” It’s a surprisingly effective confidence booster. And if imagining a fictional pep talk from Oprah or your grandma doesn’t work, you can always borrow this mantra: “If they could do it, I can fake it until I make it too.”
2. Create a “Brag List”
Write down every win, no matter how small. From handling a last-minute VIP event without breaking a sweat to finally figuring out how to master that report in Excel (or at least opening it without calling IT). Don’t forget the thank-you notes or the positive feedback. Whenever self-doubt creeps in, open that list and remind yourself of all the things you’ve achieved.
3. Reframe Failures as Lessons
Leadership isn’t about knowing everything. Everyone starts somewhere. Sometimes, it’s Googling solutions during lunch breaks and figuring things out as you go. Your biggest mistakes are also your greatest learnings. They’ll help you lead and coach others in the future.
When we reframe failure as a natural part of growth, it becomes easier to take risks, let go of perfectionism, and pursue new opportunities with confidence. Remember: progress matters more than perfection!
4. Ask for Feedback
Building self-awareness is essential. Recognizing your unique strengths is the first step, and tools like CliftonStrengths, which we use at Beacon HR, can help you thrive both at work and beyond. Seeking feedback from your peers is another powerful way to understand how others perceive you. Constructive feedback provides actionable insights, helping you identify areas for development and gain a clearer understanding of growth opportunities. It can also shed light on strengths that women often overlook or undervalue in themselves, allowing you to better leverage your abilities.
5. Set SMART Goals
How will you know when you’re growing? By setting clear, measurable goals and celebrating your progress along the way. Don’t be afraid to set goals that stretch you. If a goal makes you feel a little nervous or excited, that’s a sign it’s pushing you just enough. And remember to prioritize your personal development—especially since women often juggle many responsibilities outside of work. Your growth matters, too, so set goals that reflect your ambitions.
Someone is watching. You’re inspiring future generations of women to take on big roles and big risks.
About Nicole
Meet Nicole, Founder and CEO of Beacon HR. She’s passionate about building awesome businesses and brings over a decade of experience partnering with start-ups, scale-ups, and SMB’s. Beacon HR is revolutionizing the way business leaders empower and accelerate their people.
Beacon’s Leadership Training Lab starts February 13th. WORTH Association members receive a 10% discount.