5 Meaningful Ways To Grow Your Network

Networking, schnetworking. Quite frankly, I did not even understand what that daunting term meant until I was knee-deep in my corporate career in luxury hotels. For many of us the mere word ‘networking’ leads to instant fear and dread. It’s easy to find excuses not to network, such as not having anything to wear, being stuck in a lockdown, not sure what you even want to ‘do’ with your life, shall I go on? There is always an excuse but almost everyone has the ability to open their eyes and get their head out of the screen. 

About 13 years ago, I moved to the city from the suburbs, armed with an intense will and eagerness to learn. I knew a total of about three people, including my brother. Fast forward to today and my vast network is made up of diverse contacts from Photographers, Chefs, Cannabis COO’S, Fashion mavens, Designers, Film Crews, Contractors, GM’S, Exotic dancers, Hoteliers, Wellness gurus, Yoga teachers, to everyone under the Event, Restaurant, and Nightclub umbrella. This did not happen overnight, patience is painful at times, but like anything, WORTH it.  It has been consistency and determination that has led me through my daily journey, professionally and personally. 

A question that constantly pops up is the deep interest in how I have grown my network organically across such a broad spectrum. Ironically, I have spent over a decade running some of the city’s top events, unconsciously networking.  While I do not suggest following in my lead of 100 hour work weeks, I hope some of my past experiences will assist with ‘networking’. The mere thought of stepping into a dimly lit ballroom, filled with strangers and a glare only a fluorescent light could shine, makes me want to jab my eyes out. I am here to tell you it is not the only way. 

At its core, networking in any industry is about connecting, relating and assisting as a human. Yes, a human. A beautiful one you are. There is a reason why many of the biggest deals get done after hours, no ego, BS, or titles. 

Here Are My Top 5 Tips For Increasing Your Meaningful Connections:

1. Stay Curious and Don’t Make Assumptions

   • I often have people blind message me, asking for a job or for me to ‘help’ them with little to no introduction, thought, or attention to detail. Anyone can do a search but never assume you know someone. We tend to make assumptions at times via a social media channel or Linkedln bio. The details always matter much more than you think in my opinion. That does not differ when it comes to expanding your connections.  My advice is stay curious, ask questions and look beyond what you’re seeing online and your current industry. 

2. Take to the Streets

   • Many of my 'key' connections were made in the lineup at the Farmers market, dog park, local coffee shop, or in a part-time job I never thought I’d take to pay the bills. Keep your head up and put the phone down. I challenge you to attempt to spend more time out in the ‘real’ world, away from the screens, laptops, and Zoom calls. You may be surprised at what you’ll find on the path when you look beyond your industry.  Through shared experiences and being present, these authentic connections can continue to open doors you’ve never dreamt of.

3. Be Considerate

   • Do your research and remember a “what’s in it for me” attitude will likely backfire. Similar to any successful relationship, both parties need to be fulfilled. Inauthenticity screams loudly, genuine interest screams even louder. Do not burn any bridges, if you have, it is never too late to return and make up for it. Pass along what you can, you have no idea how much it could impact someone’s life for the positive. Never underestimate the power of connection. Remember, it is a small world, and an even smaller industry.

4. Show up as You

   • I think I am more than safe to say, we all have been served our fair share of complete dumpster fires, this past year. I have made a pact that I will show up as vulnerable as possible for myself and others.  Even with a well-established network, I still share many of the same fears surrounding putting ourselves out there. We all do whether we want to admit it or not. I encourage you to never stop pushing the boundaries as great bravery brings equal reward. I have hired many amazing talents in the past on a gut feeling and it’s rarely let me down. The same goes for networking, bring your true self and a positive attitude to open doors.

5. Don’t Underestimate Thank You Cards

   • Send a card, yes, an old-fashioned card, does not have to have a custom monogram, beautiful calligraphy, matching stamp, most important is that it is genuine. I once had an old colleague stop me in the middle of a ‘networking’ event to thank me for my thank you card, she said it had been since the 90’s since she received a handwritten note. It was so thoughtful and she was touched. Keep in mind, this cost me a total of $1.73 (stamp included) and it would change the way she saw me as a professional, and human. 

I am hopeful when the flames are extinguished, we are all together standing on the shoulders of one another as we move forward collectively. To do this, we must fully understand how we can be of service to one another, instead of tearing each other down. Building up, continuing to grow and mentor oneself to pass to the women (and men) that have come before and after us. 

As I step into a new journey, I will bring forward many of my past connections, the ones who have supported me in my trajectory to the where I am now. My brother said it so eloquently decades ago, "you are who you hang out with". Surround yourself with like-minded individuals, do not try and be something you are not. Lead with your heart and it will come naturally, I promise. If it doesn’t, call me, I will help in whatever way I can. If not, I certainly know someone who can.