3 Simple Secrets To Rocking Boundaries & Balance
If someone had asked me this time last year to define what my boundaries were when it came to work, I would have just shrugged it off and said, “I have decent boundaries. I’m good!”. I believed that when it came to working in the hospitality and tourism industry, it was work hard to play hard and that is what I signed up for.
Like many across these industries, I was laid off at the end of March 2020 from my Event Manager role. Going from working long days with numerous clients and a summer full of weddings to sitting on my couch every day was very hard and scary. I know this past year has looked different for everyone. Some of us are still not working, some of us were laid off and have gone back into entirely different roles, and some of us never stopped working.
Over the four months I was laid off, I began to realize some assumptions I had made around how I showed up at work. I believed that I needed to be available all the time and that if I was not writing back to an email on my weekend, I was not doing a good job. I felt that if I were setting boundaries, I would be setting myself up to fail or not advance. Boundaries to me meant something negative and saying no would lead to a feeling of guilt. Perhaps it is those age-old sayings “the customer is always right” and “we don’t say no to the customer” that are so ingrained in me.
Now let me say this: I loved my job! I loved my events team, I loved the busy work and I loved working with the clients. AND I’m so lucky to have returned to work in a People & Culture role, which I also adore.
However, when I look back now I can see that because of my lack of boundaries, I felt out-of-control. I wasn’t meeting my goals, I didn’t seem to have a clear direction and I was not showing up as the best version of myself.
We all know the hospitality and tourism industry is fast-paced and the hours can be long. You don’t sign up for this life if you want weekends and holidays off. Even with the pandemic and the lower hotel occupancy rates, the need for constant pivoting, rewriting procedures, coordinating teams and responsibilities, and supporting those who have COVID has created a different kind of hard work.
More than ever, we need balance in our lives. For me, this past year was a chance to start to look and see what my other interests besides work were. This didn’t mean I wasn’t passionate about my work, but it gave me an opportunity to expand and grow as a person, which has led to me showing up as a better team player at work.
These are the top three lessons I learned when I was able to step back and reevaluate what my boundaries meant:
Boundaries can be flexible. Not to be confused with soft or wishy washy, flexible boundaries shift to accommodate circumstances. As things come up both at work and in your life, you can adjust how you respond in a way that still feels good for you while also supporting your team.
Boundaries can be discussed. Simple. Sit down with your boss or your team and talk about how everyone individually sees their boundaries. As the environment changes, re-discuss. This comes back to recognizing that boundaries can be flexible.
Boundaries can be a form of self care. Being clear on your boundaries can help create the strong foundation you need to be able to put your best foot forward every day at work. Saying yes to everything did not always make me the best person to do the job.
Now it is time for you to get curious about addressing and setting your own boundaries. Here are some questions to ask yourself. I encourage you to write them down and see what comes up. I then challenge you to start implementing what you learn at work and keep tabs on how you feel. Answer the questions again to see what has changed or what needs to be worked out.
How would boundaries improve my life at work?
If I am saying yes to X, what am I saying no to?
Do my answers for #2 reflect my values? If not, how does this make me feel?
Upgrade me to a King Suite with space for boundaries, please!
About Naomi Pitt
Naomi Pitt has worked in the hospitality industry for over 15 years as a banquet server, concierge, Event Manager and People & Culture Generalist to name a few roles. She is a Certified Life Coach who focuses on rediscovery and looking at small, simple ways to help people create the big life they have dreamed of.